Poppa Was a Rolling Stone

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her
nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says
his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay,
he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some
collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain
elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank
manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out
there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants
to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is
this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says... "It's a knickknack, Patty
Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
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Mothers day story

Mothers Day Story
So, we had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died.
Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on him
and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long
on this mat in our bathroom. Well we have 3 kids and at the time of this
story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one
is Eli. Eli really loves chapstick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my
chapstick and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in
the bathroom I keep my chapstick and how he could use it whenever he
wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was
done.

Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around and
try to get ready for Church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two
boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse
my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is
a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to
honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood.

We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I am
looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally round the
corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli. He was applying my
chapstick very carefully to Jack's . . rear end. Eli looked right into
my eyes and said "chapped." Now if you have a cat, you know that he is
right--their little behinds do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack
didn't seem to mind. And the only question to really ask at that point
was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind
or the hundredth.

And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us
that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little
creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been
using your chapstick on the cat's behind.
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